Inspiration: Random Musings & New Beginnings

It’s been awhile. So here goes…

2018 was a year of transition and change. Adjusting to a new normal and beginning a new chapter.

∗I learned a lot about myself and people. I learned that people have expiration dates in your life. Some expire quickly than others. Last year I matched energies. The energy you give to me, is what you will get FROM me. PeriodT. I am not begging for people to be in my life. If you want to go, then go, and stay gone. Thank you (for the experiences), next. My peace is more important than anything.

∗Depression hit me in October. I was functioning, but definitely depressed. Smiling on the outside, but I was depleted and hollow on the inside. Between the demands of school and work, suffering with ankle pain and arthritic knees, I was tapped out. So I retreated. I didn’t do any school work because I just didn’t have the desire to. I felt down about it, to the point it paralyzed me. 

Anyway…

For 2019:

  • I vow to speak about what I love, so that what I love can come to me. 
  • Taking care of my mind, body and soul.
  • I am allowing myself to be mindful, and intentional by journaling and using positive affirmations to keep my inner being afloat and healthy. 

∗Single. Again. It’s my new normal. Why? That’s another post for another day. All I can say is I have no desire to put my time and energies into someone, who may waste my time. In other words: Dating/relationships isn’t on my “to do list”. I’m over it. For now anyway…

I think the key for me is just to keep it simple and not to over-complicate or put too many demands on myself. 

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∗I’m focusing on me. Loving and nurturing my inner being. Celebrating my personal victories, and enjoying my peaceful space I’ve created. 

∗Teaching life is interesting. What I know for sure? I do not want to be in the classroom anymore. I don’t know what the future holds for me right now in terms of my career in education. I will just leave it at that for now. 

∗Staying connecting to God. Meditation + prayer + breathing to keep my anxiety at bay. Allowing God to lead me has always worked. So I’ll stick with that plan.

∗My healing crystals are my companions. I have them placed in my bedroom and living room to keep the positive energies flowing. I also smudge to clear the space of any negativity or stifling energies. 

’til next time,

Love + Light,

A Letter to Dad

Dear Dad, I miss you so much. I’m still sad that you left but it wasn’t up to me. I guess God had other plans for you. He knew you were tired of the pain and agony of being in the hospital. He knew you hated being poked and prodded, and the doctors constantly running tests on you. I felt your pain. You wanted to be at home, but God wanted you in His heavenly resting place, so you would have real eternal peace in His home.

I want to hear your voice and hear one of your crazy stories about the guys you worked with. You always knew how to make make me laugh. I miss your encouraging words when I was having a bad day or going through rough times.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. With God, I know I’m going to be okay.

You’re better now. Not a worry or care in His arms. That brings me some solace. The memories of you, and the good times we shared comforts me always.

My dad. My angel. I love you.

Love,

your “Baby Girl”