Why Kobe?

I know I’m not supposed to question God. We’re supposed to somehow find peace and comfort knowing he is in a better place, The saying, ‘when it’s your time, it’s your time,’ is supposed to help us make sense out of tragedy. This just feels so wrong though. I know God doesn’t make mistakes but knowing Kobe Bryant has been killed in a helicopter crash has been kicking me in the gut. I do not have peace about this, yet.

I’ve been a Kobe Bryant fan since day 1. He was fresh, yet quiet. The more I watched him play, the more I was in awe of that killer instinct on the court. He detested mediocrity and laziness. Work ethic? SICK. He made sure to bust your ass on the court. He was cocky but not obnoxious with it. It was a confident, humble cockiness. He lit it up with a smile 😊. 81 points though? Who TF does that?🤷🏽‍♀️ Nobody couldn’t tell me nothing bad about Kobe. He did it HIS way and went out like a true legend does.

Yes, nobody is “getting out alive”, but dayum. Not like this. Not him. Not his baby Gigi. I find myself taking deep breaths to shift the weight and energy of it all. Deep inhales and exhales so I won’t feel so consumed by my grief. It is very heavy. Nine whole lives lost in what seemed to be a helicopter that malfunctioned and went down in a crash.

Fuck.

My most deep and heartfelt prayers go out to all the families who lost loved ones on that dreadful Sunday. Nine souls. Gone too soon. I pray that God covers them with comfort, strength, love and light. I cannot come close to imagining how Vanessa Bryant and her the whole family is feeling.

I’m still filled with grief and to be honest, confusion and bewilderment. I guess that would be the “anger stage,” of the 7 Phases of Grief. At some point I’ll get to the “acceptance stage”. But I ain’t there yet. Lord help me.